A Tumblr thread that has been circulating as a screen shot/image. Formatting is preserved from the original posts except where I simply can't stand what they did.
artaline
human: *is heating up food*
alien: why are you doing that?
human: you see I want the particles in my food to vibrate at just the right frequency
dannydanuselessstuff
Human: *is eating ice cream*
alien: wait you forgot to make that one vibrate!
human: well, you see, not with this food
cardozza
This one is already vibrating at the desired frequency, but if it starts to vibrate at a higher frequency I lock it back in the cold box
asgardreid
Human: *just reheated pizza in the oven*
Other human: *is eating a slice of the same pizza, but cold*
Alien: *exasperated sputtering*
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