I know I've been really bad about updating the blog with the story that's unfolding. To be perfectly honest it's because I'm not invested in it.
I'll also admit (here) that I'm not all that invested in the gaming group either. It's one that was assembled using MeetUp and then the holes filled with people players knew. If you've read through you know that the group has changed significantly and only two of the original group is still playing. Not that I was attached to that group either.
I kept hoping that as we played things would become more friendly in person. They didn't. And then the world changed and we moved the game online. That kept people distant even when we're playing.
I'm having a lot of trouble getting interested in each session. I used to enjoy game prep because I would work at finding things that the group would enjoy while spotlighting at least one character. Now? I dig through published adventures looking for something to last a few sessions.
One of the reasons I stopped updating this is because I'm really behind on my notes. Using the Rocketbook is great except when it's not. And right now it's not. I have the transcribed notes that I still need to review because OCR is good but it's not good enough to deal with gaming terms and my handwriting. I can see where some GMs would be really happen with it. I'm not and decided I'm going back to paper going forward.
Yes, I know I still need to update the notes that are pending. I feel better about doing it since I know there's an end. Then it's regular handwritten notes like I've done for all my other games. The concept of being able to search for terms and such is nice. I've found that when I would really need it I don't have that capability because it's in the middle of the game.
I will still take pictures of the maps since that's darn handy for setting up continuing sessions. I'm kicking myself for not doing that in previous games as well. It allows for me to redraw maps before the game actually starts.
My lack of interest in the game means I haven't bothered to draw up any original maps. There's no real point to it when there's perfectly good maps out there I can use. As I said I'm grabbing adventures and ideas from other sources so why not the maps too? That's a whole set of tools taking up room on my hard drive now. It happens.
The thought in the back of my mind is that if I'm not having fun I should end the game. I've considered it seriously. There's a couple of things that are keeping me from doing it.
One is that this is the only social interaction I have, as little as it is. If I stopped gaming I wouldn't have any conversation outside of work stuff. That's a hard thing to consider, given that I was isolated before this all happened.
Another is that they seem to be enjoying the game. No one has told me otherwise (even the guy who left didn't say anything) and I've been trying to watch for signs of disinterest. Everyone seems happy enough when we confirm we're gaming. So they're getting something out of it. I feel that sense of obligation.
Maybe if we could start gaming in person again I might feel better about things. I miss the social interplay and cues that you only get in person. I miss handing out the cards with loot and magic items. I miss using terrain bits I can't use now because they get in the way of the camera. It might just be "online fatigue" that's my problem.
Regardless I don't see myself updating the blog with the campaign story in the future. I was struggling to make it a good narrative and never felt like I succeeded to my own satisfaction. If I can't make it interesting to myself then what hope is it to make it interesting to others?
This sounds a lot like a Debbie Downer post. It isn't the most cheerful one I've done. It has some of the serious issues that have been plaguing me about the game. However since I had started doing the narrative I felt that some kind of closure was in order.
If you've been hoping for more updates this will be a disappointment. Unless something really big happens I'm not going to post again. That includes if we dissolve the game. I would consider that big enough to post about because I'll try to give an analysis of why we did. I don't expect it but it's always a possibility when you have a gaming group.