Copied from the Reddit sub r/humansarespaceorcs. Formatted for clarity. Reddit. 'Nuff said on that.
Testsubject276
Human Communication Officer: Emergency frequency opened with the captain of the Kalthorian army, sir.
Human Captain: Let it through.
Alien: HUMANS. THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT.
Human Captain: Calm down buddy, what's wrong?
Alien: We recently scanned the storm of the sol system planet Jupiter and found an ancient civilization ending weapon at its center!
Human Captain: Ohh you mean Crosshair Station.
Alien: You... Named it?
Human Captain: Yeah, we've been trying to destroy it for a LONG time, thanks to advanced tech from some of our galactic collaborators we were able to blast the thing with an EMP so powerful that the AI core fried.
Alien: You WHAT.
Human Captain: Relax, we pulled the AI out and plugged in our own, we call her Cammie. We've been upkeeping it ever since, scrubbing away alien code and substituting our own. It now serves as our central solar system defense.
Alien: You do realize you managed to commandeer an ancient superweapon that has plagued outer galaxies for millennia?
Human Captain: ... Would you like to purchase some of our electromag nukes?
Alien: We'll take twenty.
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