It happens. A player leaves the game for whatever reason and we have to deal with the aftermath.
They could be a member of a closed group. They could be a regular drop in player. They could be someone who never made it past Session Zero. But they're no longer a part of the game.
I've had this happen quite a bit and honestly it still hurts when it does. No matter what their reason I always feel - even if it's just a tiny bit - like it's my fault. Even when it totally is NOT my fault.
Losing a player means a shift in the group dynamic as well.
We just lost a player. I expected it to happen even if I did shift the game more in line with what he enjoyed more without sacrificing what the other players wanted. It showed in both player and PC attitude.
There's no one clue that lets you know you're going to lose them. Well. Saying they're moving out of the area for an in person game is a clue but in general I'm talking about losing one without that kind of concrete situation. It take some attention to detail to pick up on clues, if they're even given.
My players lost before and at Session Zero didn't like how I structure my games. I had one who didn't like not being able to choose their stats and completely control their character. I had a pair that didn't like that I wasn't able to be bullied into changing the parameters of the game. I had two who went through Session Zero and disappeared.
Those aren't as painful and are kind of a relief that they left before the game got started. Losing players before the game begins means that more players can be found and the game can start with them. Losing them and then not having enough players to keep a game running isn't fair to everyone else, especially if the players who left knew that my game wasn't what they wanted. Rude.
Losing a player to situations outside of their control hurts because you're losing a friend. But we get to say goodbye in at least one more gaming session before their character rides off into the sunset. Unless I have a reason I don't kill of characters that leave. They're still out there in the world and they tend to show up in the narrative later. It's a nice tribute.
Losing a player during the game because they choose to leave is the most difficult. This is the one that throws off everyone. Players aren't necessarily tuned in to when one of them is unhappy with the game itself so it can come as a nasty surprise when suddenly one decides to leave. There's no discussion, there's no closure. There's a hole.
As a GM this is the one that hurts. I know that games evolve and not everyone will like the direction it's going. Someone who prefers more dungeon crawling won't like a game where everyone else likes sessions that are pure role playing and visa versa. Some want the spotlight more than they're getting. Some just don't like the game. To me this always reflects back on me.
I soul search after they leave. I wonder if I could have caught it earlier and made the game more enjoyable so they wouldn't have left. I wonder if other players are unhappy and I haven't seen it. I question my decisions as to what encounters I brought to them. I wonder if I'm a good GM.
I won't discuss an unhappy player with the group while they're still involved. I'll try to talk to them privately to see what I can do to include things they want but honestly by that point they've made up their minds to leave. I haven't been able to persuade a player to stay and I don't know that I want to do it unless they've got some valid reason for it that doesn't make the rest of the players unhappy. A player that's going to leave is going to leave.
At this point I send out individual emails asking how each player is liking the game, what they feel could be done better, what they feel is missing, etc. I know groups that do that at the end of every session but I don't like that. It puts players on the spot so if they have concerns and everyone else has a different opinion there's a good chance I'll never hear it. By making it private they don't have to worry about being singled out.
Once the player is gone then the group can discuss what happened and the progress of the game. I can ask if they're unhappy with the specific things that caused the player to leave. I can be more honest at that point. The player is gone and there's no chance of making them uncomfortable. They did that to the group so I feel it's only fair to return the favor. I can be a little petty.
Losing a player doesn't mean you're a bad GM. It really isn't your fault. If the player didn't reach out to say they wanted something else you can't read minds. If you reach out and they don't tell you then you can't resolve it. Even if they do reach out that doesn't mean you can or will change the game to suit them.
Regardless there's a few things to do after it happens.
Decide how the character is going to leave the group. Keep it in the format the player was handling their character. Remove the PC from the game however you feel is appropriate but try to keep the spite to a minimum. You can always have something horrible happen to them "off camera" and let it filter back later.
Talk to the group about it. They can be more upset than you since it's a shock. Find out if they have the same concerns (if you know them) and let them talk it out.
Ask them how they want to proceed. Do they want to add another player? Do they know someone who they think would fit in the group? Do they want to end the game? They're all valid options.
Send an email thanking the player and wish them well. Don't burn bridges and don't vent on them.
Adjust any upcoming encounters to fill the hole. Losing the cleric means lots of undead probably aren't a great idea and add a lot of healing magic to the loot they find. Losing the tank means turning the combat to things they can handle without having someone go through and make kibble out of the opponents.
This is my person one but if you do decide to add another player don't expect them to "fill the hole". Let them choose a character type they want to play and adjust, adjust, adjust. If they really do enjoy playing all the classes they'll pick a character to replace the missing one on their own. Again this is my personal preference but if that's not yours then by all means do what works for you.
To finish up. Mourn the loss (if the player is worth it), talk it out, and move on. Make the game what the remaining players want it to be. You can't fix what one person thought was broken and isn't around anymore.
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