How I Roll - The Lonely GM

A post on Twitter got me thinking about sitting behind the screen. That post talked about how lonely it is to be a/the GM.

It's true. It can be incredibly lonely. There's a party on one side of the screen and on the other side the GM is watching it. Sure we get to be everyone in the world but those aren't the same as being invested in one very specific role.

In my opinion this is why some GMs introduce essential NPCs. That way they get to play and be at least on the fringes of the group. But it's never quite the same. It's always us against them even when it's not adversarial.

The GM holds a lot of the cards. The players know this. They work together to figure out what's going on and how to overcome it. The GM is reactive to that and also proactive in keeping the story moving in some direction or another.

Moving online has made that worse, at least from what I've been hearing and experiencing. They're still a party. The GM is still this nebulous person off to the side, telling them what's going on. With all the problems of a conference call the party is still a group, even if it takes longer to get them all on the same page.

The GM? Sitting there listening and waiting for their chance to say something.

For some in person games there's consideration for the work the GM does. They don't have to pay their share for the pizza. Someone brings the snack they like. There's a time after the game when they're thanked. Or not. It depends on the group. But the option is there.

In my opinion one of the worst things a group can do is treat the GM like a component of the game - rulebook, dice, GM. We're people too and we work darn hard to make sure that there's something for those hours when everyone gets together.

Online I've found that the break between the party and the GM is even more pronounced. People get excited and start talking over each other and the GM until some kind of order is restored. Then they do it again. There's no good way to use body language and manners seem to be different when they're not sitting across from another player. The GM gets even more marginalized when the players don't have to see them sitting there, behind the screen, running the game.

The point of this one is more for me to express the intrinsic loneliness that comes from running a game. Sure the players can be friendly but once the game starts there's a screen between the players and the GM, even if they don't play a game with a screen. It's a power dynamic that can't change.

And it is all about power. The GM decides what encounters the party will face and what happens when they finish it. They decide when the party levels. They have the power over that aspect of the game. The players have power over the social aspect of the game. The GM can't mandate that the players are nice to them, even if they should be.

I've been feeling removed from my game and I think this is why. I think that distance between me and my players has grown as we moved online and given that I don't know when we'll be back in one location I don't know how well the game will progress. I honestly don't know. It may not survive the transition from in person to online. Right now I don't know how I feel about that, which is not a good place to be for creative work.

If you're a GM I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on if you feel lonely. If you're a player I'd be interested to hear your thoughts on how much the GM is integrated into the game. Either way I think it's a topic that doesn't get enough attention in the world of gaming.